


A Car, Some Glass, and a Very Close Death

by UnoriginalAtBest



Category: Skeleton Clique - Fandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety, Blurryface, Depression, F/M, Gay, Gay boy, Guilt, Heterosexual, High School AU, Homosexual, LGBT, M/M, No band, Oneshot, Self Harm, Unrequited Love, gay boys, only really small and subtle references of him tho, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-21 09:49:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10682820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnoriginalAtBest/pseuds/UnoriginalAtBest
Summary: Tyler Joseph is in love with Josh Dun, and on the day he decides to confess, something very unfortunate happens.





	A Car, Some Glass, and a Very Close Death

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this months ago, but I just decided to type it lmao. Warnings for self harm.  
> Also, I've had a lot of request to continue this. I might someday, but for now it will remain as a oneshot as I am busy with other works, and I never intended to continue this, so the set up for a longer story isn't very stable.
> 
> Edit: this story is almost a year old now, holy crap. I consider this to be the story that got me writing like I do now, so I won't be taking it down. Even so, I want everyone that reads this to understand that my writing has improved since, but most importantly that I wrote this when I was in a really bad place. This story is mostly a vent for a lot of feelings I had pent up at the time, projecting my emotions through Tyler and his actions. I thank everyone who read it, as well as everyone who left kudos and comments too. This story, however poorly written it may seem now, is important to me.

He'd done it. He'd finally done it. Tyler Joseph had finally broken up with Jenna Black. Even so, this boy was unmistakably one of the nicest people on planet Earth. He felt awful for breaking the girl's heart. Horrendous. Terrible. _Evil _, even. Jenna was devastated. She'd cried for a long while, angrily threw pillows at Tyler, and calmed down after crying some more. She apologized profusely afterwards for acting so reckless, and proceeded to thank Tyler for staying with her through her tears and having enough heart to tell her in person. His circumstances had been understandable, after all.__  
Many of Tyler's friends and family had pressured him to ask the blond out. He never liked Jenna like that. He'd always thought of her as a sister, really, but how was a supposedly straight teen boy suppose to tell his parents and close friends that he did not, in fact, like the very attractive girl whom he spent large chunks of his time with without telling them that he was a raging homosexual. Moreover, how was he suppose to tell them that not only did he not like the girl who very obviously had a crush on him, but he liked _someone else? _Oh no, Heaven forbid that dreadful arrangement of problems. This poor boy had enough anxiety on his plate, anyway.  
But, regardless of trying his best to avoid that situation by putting on his best boyfriend act for Jenna, he, of course, broke after what seemed like forever. So, he told her. He told her everything.__

_____ _

Including the part where he like someone else.

Including the part where that someone else happened to be a boy...a boy named Joshua William Dun.

He told her, because, even though he didn't feel the same, Jenna was still one of his best friends. She was still the one who had helped him through countless anxiety attacks during his early teenage years up until present day, even. She was still the one he cared enough for to go over to her house at 9:00 at night, and sit her down in her room while he explained everything as best as his jumbled mind could muster.

And in the end, it was worth it.

Because now, as Tyler drove home from a night of stress and tension, he could focus on other things. The main thing being how he was going to ask out Josh Dun at school tomorrow.

* * *

A racing heart, the sound of the last bell of the school day, and the loud clap of his shoes as he mall-walked through the halls and out onto the pavement were the only things Tyler could hear. They were the only things he allowed himself to hear. If he were to let anything else into his mind then the very unstable wall blocking out his doubts would shatter and he'd turn around right then and there, and walk straight to his car to drive home. Fortunately, there was no way Tyler would let that happen, because he was determined to do it this time.  
For the past week, Tyer had been avoiding the ever growing question in his mind of _when the hell he was going to ask Josh out._ He had been so courageous after he'd first broken up with Jenna (most likely due to the adrenaline pumping through his veins). After that night's sleep, however, all of his courage had dwindled down to zero.  
He'd went to school the next day with shaky limbs and sweaty palms, and, on top of that, he had to explain to each of his friends why he was no longer spending his mornings with Jenna. His best excuse was that he "wasn't feeling it anymore". Luckily, Jenna caught on and went along with the lie, understanding the importance of allowing Tyler to come out to his friends once he felt he was ready. She had even been there to encourage Tyler to stop procrastinating and just ask Josh out. Of course, it was very noticeable that it hurt her to do so, but, being the good person she is, she helped regardless, and Tyler really couldn't have asked for a better friend.  
Tyler had also ran into the awkward issue of texting and hanging out with Josh with this question floating around his brain. If he was being honest, he had been avoiding Josh as best as he could, stiffening every time the bright teen would spot him in the act of trying to run away and calling him over. It seemed that no matter what he tried, the other boy would always find a way to spot him.  
So, here Tyler was, anxious and sweaty with a mind full of the fifty different ways this could go wrong.  
Tyler quickly walked down the sidewalk next to the school building, knowing where Josh normally hung out after school on sunny days like this: under the bleachers at the football stadium. His feet hit the pavement one at a time, and he tried his hardest to focus on the tempo they created rather than the growing adrenaline in the pit of his stomach. The corner that turned into the stadium was close than ever now, and Tyler gulped, putting on his best greeting smile.  
_You can do this. You can do this. You got this._ He repeated these words of encouragement in his head, some his own, and others from Jenna. Finally, as he turned the corner his lips turned upward into a bright smile, and he lifted his eyes from where they had been glued to the passing pavement below. They immediately caught sight of the fluff of pink hair not twenty feet away, as well as the curly red hair and-

Wait.

Curly red hair?

Josh's hair wasn't red. At least not currently. He had dyed it red before in the past, but it was recently dyed a nice, bubblegum pink. Tyler blinked, and focused his eyes on the still image in front of him, his feet having stopped moving once he realized that someone else was there with Josh.

Someone, but who? He looked closer.

Oh. Debby. It was Debby. She was one of Jenna's close friends, but...why was she here?

Tyler, dazed and confused, shook his head slightly. Josh was turned partially away from him, so the pink-haired boy hadn't saw him. Debby seemed too busy looking at Josh to have noticed him, either. He was only moments away from finally piping up and saying something before Debby leaned up and puckered her lips as Josh slid an arm around her waist.

Tyler's breath hitched harshly in his throat.

_No. No, no. Nononono, this can't be happening. _Tyler thought as panic began to course through his body.__  
Tyler took a shaky step back, the smile on his face dropping to a frown. Tears began forming at the corners of his eyes as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. He gulped, trying his best to force down the feeling of vomiting.  
Debby. Debby of all people. Debby, Jenna's close friend-...

Jenna's _close friend_.

Of course, it all made sense now. Jenna must have run to Debby after Tyler left and told her everything. She didn't do it out of spite, Tyler knew that much, but she needed someone to talk to. She needed someone to be there for her that wasn't the guy she loved. And Debby, she must have had a crush on Josh too. For the past week she had probably been doing the same thing Tyler had, and Jenna, either she didn't say anything if she knew so she wouldn't get caught up in the drama, of Debby never told her.  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Tyler muttered as his head began filling with all of the doubts he had been holding back ever since the school day had ended. He took another shaky step back and turned on his heels when he couldn't look on any longer. As he pivoted, his foot knocked into a rock that flew and whacked into the metal bleachers. A loud and confused, "Tyler?!" could be heard from what was most likely Josh as the anxiety ridden teen ran as fast as he could toward his car.  
He ran all the way down the sidewalk and into the parking lot, choking out loud sobs as tears poured over his cheeks. He jumped into his car as fast as he could and began fumbling with his keys just as a worried Josh ran around the corner of the school and ran straight toward Tyler and his car. Tyler tried his best to see through his tears as he finally jammed the key into the ignition and put the car into drive. He stomped his foot down on the gas as hard as he could, riding through the empty parking spot in front of him. He narrowly escaped Josh as his car screeched out of the lot and onto the road.  
Tyler drove. He drove, and drove, and drove without any destination in mind. He sobbed the whole time, cries escaping his lips every now and then. He tried his best to keep his crying to a minimum, considering that he didn't want to cause a wreck (although he did feel like dying). Eventually, he reached the outskirts of town and drove through the forest surrounded road ahead of him. He wanted to go home so badly, wanted to lay in his bed and go to sleep, and pretend this never happened,...but he couldn't. He couldn't explain to his parents why he was so upset, couldn't tell them that the boy he loved was in a relationship with someone else without facing the consequences of coming out to his very Christian family. Not only that, but it was almost dark now, and Tyler hadn't answered a single one of the texts or calls from his most certainly extremely worried mother.

Tyler felt sick

Ever so slowly, the boy took the car and parked it carefully on the side of the road. He couldn't drive anymore, not after realizing the problems he'd caused by driving away to wherever he liked. He wanted to vomit, wanted to crack his car door and just fall out onto the dirt. However, considering that he hadn't ate today, because he was so anxious about confessing to Josh, he probably didn't have much to throw up, anyway.

_Ugh, Josh._

Tyler's eyes stung with tears again. His grip tightened harshly on the steering wheel as they began to flow once more, and angry thoughts penetrated Tyler's mind.  
He'd loved Josh for so long now that he couldn't even remember when it started. It'd been years, that's for sure. He'd done so much for Josh too. Always putting him first, always making sure he was okay, doing whatever he could to make sure he was fine; there was so much. That isn't even counting the time before he had the courage to so much as be Josh's friend. Tyler felt _furious_.  
Furious with Josh for not noticing that he thought of him as more than a friend, furious with Debby for liking Josh, furious with his friends and parents for encouraging him to date Jenna, furious with Jenna for telling Debby. Oh, but most of all, he was furious with himself.  
For being a coward, for running away, for not being good enough, for being such an anxiety ridden pest, for being so fucked that he allowed all of this to happen, for not acting sooner. The anger was becoming all too much.  
Unable to stand the stuffiness of the car any longer, Tyler yanked open the car door. He stepped outside into the cool night air, the fallen leaves from the oncoming winter crunching under his shoes. He paced back and forth, huffing and sobbing as millions of thoughts swirled in his head.  
_Coward, clingy, needy, fag, disgusting, unloved, horrible, terrible, monster-_ They just kept coming on and on until he couldn't take it any longer. Tyler screamed, turning to the nearest tree he could find an punching it with all of his strength. His fist made contact with the rough bark and cut harsh marks into his knuckles. Tyler hissed in pain, but he wasn't done. The pain only fueled his rage even more as his other hand collided with the same tree, the bark cutting that one too.  
He screamed again, this time a mix of emotional and physical pain.  
He loved him. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him, goddammit. Tyler still loves him. He hates that he loves him, hates that even after this he'd still do anything to make Josh happy. The frustrated boy breathed in sharply. His eyes darted through the ever growing darkness from the sun's setting figure, and as he did, spotted a rock on the ground. Without much thought, Tyler leaned down, picked it up, and threw it at the window of his car with as much force as he could muster.  
The rock flew through the glass, the window shattering in an instant. For a moment, Tyler felt as if he was going in slow motion, watching the window break into countless tiny pieces. He huffed, breathing heavily as everything came to a sudden stop.  
He stayed this way for an undetermined amount of time as his body paused in a post-throwing position. His eyes remained locked on the broken glass with a now clearer vision due to his dissipating tears. A singular car passed by, and suddenly Tyler wished he was in that car, envying the ignorant person inside that most likely had a much better life than his.  
Tyler whimpered, his body completely drained of energy. Everything began to settle into little neat spots in his mind, and very abruptly he'd realized what he'd done. He dropped to his knees in exhaustion with two bleeding, throbbing hands. He had no doubt broke a few bones.  
From his spot on the ground, Tyler could hear his phone buzz with a text from inside the car, but he couldn't care less at this point. His parents were now not only going to kill him for being out so late without warning, but for also shattering the driver's window. He'd have to face the repercussions of his actions someday, be he was a master of procrastination, and he had no intent on facing his issues right now. So, he simply pulled himself up next to the car and leaned back on the driver's side back door.  
He stared up at the night sky and the treetops and began playing over scenarios of how things could play out when he got home. If he even got home. But, really, he couldn't handle thoughts like that and a time like this. Tears started to spill over again as it dawned on him that by being so uncaring and letting his anxiety take over him, he had pushed himself into a position with no one on his side. He didn't even have a chance at sympathy now.  
More sobs began to rack his exhausted body, and his hand roamed across the grass for something to cling to. Anything would work, because it didn't matter anymore. He just needed to grab something. He patted the ground as his hand blindly searched in the darkness until he touched something cold and his hand hovered over it. He brought the extremity down to grasp at the object in question once more. Once his fingers wrapped around jagged edges, he brought the object up and held it toward the moonlight.

Glass. It must have been from his car window.

Tyler lifted his other hand to poke at a particularly pointy end of the glass. He hissed as it made a cut on the tip of his pointer finger, a bead of blood forming at its center. He watched the bead grow larger until it broke the confines of its cut and dribbled down his finger to begin a trail down the rest of his hand.  
_I'm all alone now. Completely alone._ The boy thought. _There's no one left to help me. Josh probably thinks I'm crazy. Jenna most likely secretly hates me for what I did, and now that I think about it, this is definitely some sick revenge from the universe. My friends at school will shun me once they find out I like Josh, and my parents...God, my parents. They're probably gonna send me to a mental ward once they see what happened._  
_**Alone**_ , a voice in his head echoed. It repeated the syllables over, and over again. More tears fell down Tyler's dirt smudged cheeks as anxiety once again filled his brain. It hurt, it hurt, everything hurt. All at once, and not at all, it just hurt so. Fucking. Much.  
Slowly, Tyler brought the hand holding the glass down and on top of his other wrist. The voice in his head now repeating a chant of, ' **Do it, no one would care, anyway**.' A sob shook his upper body, jerking his hand with it and creating a small cut in his wrist. He stared at the blood that began forming, and in a quick slice as he said _fuck it _, broke the skin on his wrist once more in a cut that was much deeper and stronger than the last. The voice's non-existent mouth curled up into a gut wrenching smile.__  
It hurt. Oh, did the cut hurt, but that wasn't going to stop him. No, the boy was just getting started. Again, and again Tyler raced the sharp material over his skin, a new cut forming every time. Some of them piled on top of others. The boy was beginning to lose himself in the actions, for at some point he switched wrists, and even lifted up his shirt to cut at his abdomen too.  
Bloody, ugly cuts littered his body as he created more with each sob coursing through him. Countless cuts bled out his life source, and his body began to slow down. Fatigue and blood loss made his vision blurry. His cuts grew shallower, now, but he still tried his best to rip up as much skin as he could get to until he was so tired all he could do was move his hand back and forth. Which is exactly what he did as he slowly sawed into his thigh, the glass piercing all the way through his jeans. Finally, even his wrist grew too tired to continue, and he stopped completely. The glass simply sat in the blood spilling cut.  
His head began to feel like he was swaying, waves of nausea overcoming his senses. The world around him tilted from side to side, and the trees doubled every now and then. The air felt way to thin.  
Suddenly, his phone buzzed with another text, but he was too weak and uncaring to do anything about it. His vision was becoming tunneled, and he couldn't see much aside from the blackness surrounding his sight. He held onto consciousness long enough to register the sound of footsteps before the dark finally took him as prisoner, and the teen finally began to comprehend why someone as powerful as God could die from the burdens of life.

__

* * *

____

Two officers from the Columbus police department arrived at the morbid scene of Tyler's bloody body not long after a man parked his car near Tyler's to check if everything was alright, only he discovered that things were far from alright. He immediately called the 911 and the police, along with and ambulance, drove there as fast as possible. Paramedics jumped from the ambulance to put Tyler's body on a stretcher. The boy wasn't dead, but he certainly didn't have much time.  
The two policemen pointed their bright flashlights into the car, one of them noticing the phone in the driver's seat. He opened the door, and, with gloved hands, reached in and grabbed it. As he held it up, it buzzed with a new text, and the officer jumped back in surprise.  
The brightness from the phone's screen lit up the dark night, and the officer squinted to read the words. "Hey Tim," he called. The other policemen, who was on the other side of the car looked over to see him holding a phone. "Check it out."  
"What's on it, Jamie?" The second officer, Tim, asked as he stepped through the leaves. Jamie handed him the phone, replying with, "read that," as Tim hesitantly took the device.  
In a little box on the screen, a text from Tyler's mom read:

"Honey. Josh came here to check up on you. Jenna came over after she heard you ran off without warning too. They told us everything. We don't care that you're gay, sweetie, just please come home. We're so worried. Please be safe. We love and care about you <3"

**Author's Note:**

> Me and a few of my friends actually just performed a color guard routine to this song today. We won a prize, and overall we did really well.


End file.
